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The Literary Mausoleum

So my friend and I were laughing about the "Army of Darkness" "Captain Supermarket" Poster...

Edward: T_T
CAPTAIN SUPERMARKET
me: Captain Supermarket is off today...get me Captain Pastry Shop!
me: Get me Colonel Laudromat!
Major Meat Market!
Edward: Corporal Car Wash!!!
me: we could do a whole series of "Main street USA heroes", Private Barber
Edward: HA
me: Ensign Best Buy
General Dream Machine!
Edward: Field Marshall Florist!
Seargant Schoolhouse!
Private Pool Hall!
Commodore Athletic Club!
General Gas Station!
Admiral Bowling Alley!
me: MAIN STREET ASSEMBLE!
Edward: "Well FLint, there's just no room for WOMEN in my bowling alley!"
MAIN SCREEN TURN ON
me: Sergeant Smoke Shop!
Rear Admiral Restaurant!
Lieutenant Light Post
Edward: Buildings transforming into fat robotic bearded soldiers
me: Gunney-Sergeant Gazeebo!
Edward: Staff Sargeant sweatshop!
Commander clubhouse!
me: Quartermaster Quiznos!
Man-at-Arms Mail Carrier!
Edward: Hahaha
Sorry Cringer, but I need to read... the mail
me: Yeoman Yogurt Stand!
Edward: yeoman?we're running out of names quickly.
me: Specialist Steak Shop!
Warrant Officer Wegmans!
Brigadier General Savings Bank!
Edward: This has to end!
I just imagine you insanely typing away with a glazed insane look on your face and military stripe insignias spinningin your eyes like a casino machine
me: Airman Automat!
Edward: Pilot Pillowcase
me: General Garage!
Edward: HAHAHA weve used General twice already
me: Seaman Subway!
Petty officer Pet shop!
Fleet Admiral Flowershop
Edward: I used flower shop like 10 minutes ago!
Now we're going Navy!?
me: ok,ok,
Edward: Seaman Subway, that sounds appetizing
me: I'm all out
Edward: Of semen!
me: Purser Pizza Place!
Okay, now I'm done.
Edward: Purser!!!!??!!!
Thats the final entry!
me: Comptroller Convienence Store!